Amazing Grace Baptist Church Making News Again

The same guys that are planning to burn bibles, books and all things that they deem heretical are in the news again. This time for declaring several famous sports stars' eternal destiny---here's the scoop:

Tom Brady is going to Hell.

At least according to the Amazing Grace Baptist Church, which declared that New England's quarterback is destined for eternal damnation for his sinful existence in this life. Via NESN (via the Huddle)

"Tom Brady has an unwed child, but it's okay because he wins Super Bowls. Tom Brady is teaching us to have sex outside of marriage, to commit fornication, don't marry and do the right thing, don't take responsibility for your actions, have a good time no matter who you hurt in this world, go from sex partner to sex partner, and it's okay because of who I am. How many of you dad's (sic) cheer on Tom in the Super Bowl while your kids are watching?"

Not to make light of one's religious beliefs, but this is something you might find written on the walls of an insane asylum ... in feces. (And just so we're clear, nobody thought winning Super Bowls made it okay to have an unwed child; that it was with Bridget Moynahan made it okay.*)

Brady won't be alone in Hell, however. The church has also identified Matt Leinart and Adam Archuleta among many others. Leinart I get -- he also had a child out of wedlock and worse, he parties with Nick Lachey -- but Archuleta? Really? The poor guy was disgraced out of the NFL, cut by the Redskins before the Raiders gave up on trying to make him a linebacker. But that wasn't the low point of his professional career. He was recently released by the UFL's Las Vegas Locomotives. (I thought the UFL was like tee ball -- whoever shows up makes the team.) Doesn't matter, apparently. A date with Lucifer is still in his future.

"Engaged to a Playboy Playmate Jennifer Walcott. They have one son. This is called fornication, and we all know what their son is called, the same thing the Bible calls him."

(Read the full article: Here).

Wow is all I can say. There's nothing much else to say---so what are your thoughts?

TALKIN' SPORTS-LINE

On the day after the Super Bowl, one of the most overrated hyped up events on TV---what better thing to post but a Bob Dylan/Woody Guthrie type song I wrote about sports idolatry---not that sports in and of itself is bad but anyways:

TALKIN' SPORTS-LINE
(Currin)

Oh I heard the other day, there's a new American religion rolling into town
You can catch the sacred show on your television sports network, every Monday night
Doesn't matter if you're on East Coast, West Coast or Mountain time
It never fails to be painted across t. v. screens, all around
You can tune in anytime you like; but make sure your screen is the largest size
For better viewing of that new time religion known as the show Sports-line
Wouldn't wanna miss a single second or you might miss a world record touchdown

Well, they're tearing all the crosses down and replacing them with sports equipment instead
And they are selling beer and millions of hot dogs for wine and bread
'Tis the last feast of the King of all Kings, you know
Take drink and eat for to remind yourself of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
That are otherwise known as Babe Ruth, Chipper Jones and Michael Jordan
Or maybe it was Hank Aaron, Sammy Sosa, and Dennis Rodman
Either way, you know that you'll find salvation, in your local sports show

Well, your churches are getting empty and your stadiums are getting filled
I'm sure on Judgment Day; the Lord of all Hosts will be thrilled
About the latest batting average or the latest record for most field goals
And I'm a-sure as lead that your touchdowns and punch-outs will save your soul
As long as you are a-going for the fastest racing record time
Everything for your sports stars in their sports cars will make you fine
For a home-run by your favorite team, surely 'tis God's will

Oh, and they're burning the church buildings down and replacing them with stadiums
For to build a place for your sports teams and to build up the new religion
The religion to end all religion, Sports-line really is
Because it's the only religion that to it's followers gives
Extra hard; and nobody cares about Jesus anymore
Because they are turning on the tube or running out to see some ole sport
For it's for these sports idols that Americans truly live

And a-everyone is chewing the fat off of the golden calf
Sacrificing to the one-eyed god on Monday night, every hour and a half
Because the Pope wore out his welcome, for his priests with children did mate
And your athletes are truly the real heroes of today
Well, I seen one golfer and he healed this one man who was blind
It was a true miracle of the sports god; and I seen one hockey player draw a sign
With the colorful words he spoke and it blessed the whole crowd as black eyes to them he did gave

Well, the thing about today is we need a good boxer to set the people free
And we need a political wrestler for the common man in the Law to believe
What a world we live in, where you can find sermons eating Wheaties, sitting on the couch
And well, you know Kelly Slater is the true messiah, he saved us with his wipeouts
And the sacred veil was torn when Tiger Woods made his first hole in one
You know, right then and right there, it spelled the completeness of everyone
And you know that O. J. Simpson was always innocent, sooner he did need to be released

Yes, and I heard the other day, there's a new American religion rolling into town
You can catch the sacred show on your television sports network, every Monday night
Doesn't matter if you're on East Coast, West Coast or Mountain time
It never fails to be painted across t. v. screens, all around
You can tune in anytime you like; but make sure your screen is the largest size
For better viewing of that new time religion known as the show Sports-line
Wouldn't wanna miss a single second or you might miss a world record touchdown

So everybody take it from me, if you want to be free, if you want to see the end
And if a-you want to see the gates of Heaven
Stay away from your church pews, turn on your t. v. and don’t miss your precious Sports-line
For 'tis every bit of heaven there, as long as you watch, because your stadiums are so divine
And a-your sports idols are the truth that will set the world free
The very word of the one-eyed god that will give you your place to be
You can even escape the gates of death by a soccer ball falling in the wind...

© 2002 T/H Songs, Inc.
© 2002 GB Lyrics, C.O.