Monday, September 14, 2009

Top 10 Reasons Why Sharks Make Terrible Presbyterians

Here is a companion post to my previous post---TheoPoetic Musings: Top 10 Reasons Why Cats Make Terrible Baptists:

10. Will eat all the food before the rest of the congregation gets any.

9. Likely to switch presbyteries often just to go where the most food is.

8. Shark justice sometimes includes cannibalism instead of reconciliation.

7. Shark behavior is hard to predetermine even from the foundation of the world.

6. Likely to eat the altar and all the religious trappings in the church building.

5. Will regurgitate the elements of communion.

4. Won't sit still during church services.

3. Won't resolve conflicts easily so often resolve to eating the opposition instead of forming a new denomination.

2. Don't have much time for heavy-handed theology when survival is your top priority.

And # 1. Sharks are pelagic fish so you know they believe in Pelagianism instead of Calvinism.


Reyes-Chow said...

well played sir, well played.

TheoPoet said...

Thanks they could have been better, but you know when you're bored anything tends to amuse you.