The Post-Emergent Church

The Post-Emergent Church Of The Future---For old people that never grow out of their youth. A non-seeker-sensitive approach to church: How to lose friends and alienate people. The Post-Emergent Church will return us back to fundamentalism while still remaining relevant. Praise Hymn Rock Songs Include:

In Awe Of Thy 600+ Commandments, Praise Jesus 25x Chorus, Jesus Is Coming Now Grab Your Guns, We're Old But We're Still Young In Church, A Mighty Fortress Is Our Bible, I Saw Jesus Shoot A Heretic But He Did Not Shoot The Deputy, We Hold The Absolute Truth And So Can You, We'll Annoy You With One More Praise Chorus, We Wish You A Servetus Barbecue, O I Hope My Shoe Is Holey Enough For The Rapture and Raise A Banner Of War On The Non-Elect

Confession of Faith: Legalism is Lord. Church services will include inquisitions on non-believers followed by forced baptisms. Afterwards, we'll have a pot luck lunch. Everyone wins---souls that is!

Religious Star Wars Humor

Choose this day which Skywalker you will serve.


[H/T] http://www.ooze.com/toolofsatan/









[H/T] http://sermonfire.blogspot.com/2009/05/how-to-be-missional-dungeon-master-part_11.html

Stupid Fundamentalist Quotes Of The Day With Brannon Howse

Here are some doozies from Brannon Howse in my latest email from Worldview Weekend:

Brannon Howse on the Deconstructionists in the Culture and Within the Church:

Postmodernists seek to deconstruct western society by denying absolute truth even in the disciplines of reading and writing. Postmodernists within the American Church deconstruct Christianity-as did Kierkegaard-by proclaiming that the Bible is not the absolute, inerrant, divinely inspired Word of God. And the Emergent Church is gaining ground in spreading this false church.

There are other symptoms of deconstructionism as well. Deconstructionists tell us America was founded by rich, white men who wrote our founding documents in order to control the masses and implement an evil capitalist worldview by which to enrich themselves at the expense the majority. Many deconstructionists within the Church add that rich, white men also founded the Church as we know it and defended certain Biblical theology and doctrines in order to control and manipulate the masses while commercializing the Church for their own personal gain.

Brannon Howse on the Compromise of the Republican and Democratic Parties:

The leaders in the educational establishment, the apostate Church, occultism/pagan spirituality, or the government-corporate complex want the idea of social and spiritual evolution embraced worldwide in order to bring about their desired "new order" or "new world order."

......

Brannon Howse on Today's Pastors:

Most pastors, church staff, and Sunday school teachers are products of a secular school system that did not warn them about the worldviews of the influential people I cover in this book. Schools, for the most part, promoted many of their ideas. Even pastors who attended seminary did not learn the significance of the competing worldviews and anti-biblical philosophies represented by such people, and most seminaries did not teach apologetics or a comprehensive Biblical worldview. Thus today, even most of America's conservative pastors are ill-equipped to protect their flock against the worldviews of these 21 radicals.

......

Brannon Howse on One Connection Between The Apostate Church and Big Government:

The pastors and authors of one of America's fastest growing spiritual movements, the Emergent Church, sing the praises of socialism. As I'll explain in more detail later, the Emergent Church champions the neo-Marxist call for a utopian society through spiritual evolution where good and evil merge to form a "better" third option. This idea derives from the belief system of philosophers such as Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel and finds its contemporary manifestation in the "Third Way" movement of Bill Clinton and Tony Blair. In the Third Way, capitalism, socialism, and communism merge to form a misanthropic combination of the three. Many republicans agree with this philosophy. This blending is now represented in the terms "the New World Order" and "the new enlightenment."

Brannon Howse on One-World Spirituality:

The three worldviews that are merging into a dominant new worldview embraced on a global scale include evolutionary humanism, Hindu pantheism, and occultism have merged to create a worldview I call One-World Spirituality. The theology of this worldview is pantheism; the philosophy is pagan spirituality; the biology is Darwinian evolution; the economic system is socialism, the politics is globalism, and the activism of this worldview is centered on radical environmentalism and political correctness (cultural Marxism). The goals of this One-World Spirituality are just what we've outlined before: a one-world government, one-world religion, and one-world economic system.

The social implications of pagan spirituality are stunning. If we are all one, no individual or nation should be better or worse off than anyone else, and thus the only acceptable economic worldview is socialism, the attempt to equalize the distribution of wealth.

Brannon Howse on European Christianity's Influence on America's Liberal Churches:

History screams that ideas have consequences, that worldview matters. Most Germans, including German Christians, willingly traveled the road to Hitler's hell, largely because they had lost the courage of their convictions. They had sold out to paganism, pragmatism, and a new gospel that promised everything and required nothing.

Does this not sound like churches, seminaries, Christian colleges, and some of the best-selling Christian authors in America? Wellhausen's liberal philosophy eventually jumped the ocean, became popular on the East Coast, and has spread throughout the United States. Many American Christians seem all too willing to go down a path that will surely lead to the destruction of a once great nation. Incredibly, many self-professing Christians are not just following but leading the way over the cliff.

A domineering false church is rising, largely due to pansies in the pulpit.

........

Brannon Howse on Feminism:

Feminism has accomplished its goals-the destruction of the American family through the destruction of the father and the resulting the rise of the welfare state.

The bottom line is that feminism has been a tool of the humanists to destroy the family. Leading humanist Paul Kurtz said, "Humanism and feminism are inextricably interwoven."[3] Humanists and Communists have sought the destruction of the American family because they know that, for America, the family has been the instrument for passing on Christian values and a Biblical worldview-the source and foundation of our freedoms and Constitutional Republic.

Anyone care to take on these absurd and moronic quotes?

Why Glenn Beck Is Not Good Enough For Fox News

By Rev. Professor Rotgut Guzzleman, who put God in the GOP and was fortunate enough to be predestined to be born a True Republican---God's True Elect on earth.

10) He is not a Fundamentalist Christian.

Here is a video in which Glenn Beck explains his false religion:

9) He worships a false god and false jesus.

Saint John MacArthur on Mormonism:

When I met with Robert Millet I expressed my conviction as clearly as possible that the God of the Bible is a completely different God from the god of Mormonism, that the Christ of Scripture is a wholly different Christ from the christ of Mormonism, and the true gospel is a radically different gospel from the gospel of Mormonism.
I have maintained a cordial relationship with Dr. Millet for the sake of the truth, and am happy to provide him with as much of my material as he wishes to read. But my concern is for the truth; I'm not interested in artificial harmony between two contradictory faiths. For that reason I have consistently made clear in all my dialogue with Dr. Millet that there is no spiritual common ground between biblical Christianity and Mormonism.
I would never deliberately equivocate on the truth or do anything that might lend credence to Mormonism. I'm convinced (as are all who understand Scripture accurately) that Mormonism is a false religion, generated by Satan. It is a damnable heresy, and in the words of Paul, "a different gospel," under God's anathema.

8) He's for Freedom Of Religion instead of freedom to force Fundamentalist Christianity down Americans' throats through a Fundamentalist theocracy.

Condemned by his own words:

BECK: But wait a minute, hang on just a second. I think I agree with what you're saying here, but here's the problem — people don't look at — you know, the separation of church and state meant something different. We have gotten so far off the beaten path of our Constitution. They don't understand the concept of freedom anymore the way that our Founding Fathers understood freedom.

I don't care what religion you are. I don't care if you aren't religious. It doesn't matter. Just you be a good person and a decent person and don't force your view — one way or another — down anybody else's throat.

7) He is said to have ADHD which Saint John MacArthur says is nonexistent. http://www.gty.org/Resources/Sermons/1949 ADHD: Deceptive Diagnosis.

6) He divorced then remarried.'

This is a sin which the True God the King James Bible AV1611 points out:

Matthew 5:32 (King James Version)

32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

5) He was an alcoholic and drinking is a sin.

Here again the True God the King James Bible AV1611 warns us:

Ephesians 5:18 (King James Version)

18And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;

4) He's secretly Liberal because he's not a true Republican.

Glenn Beck on becoming Libertarian:

''Every day that goes by, I'm more and more libertarian,'' says Beck, whose new show (titled, coincidentally, Glenn Beck) will air from 5 to 6 p.m. weekdays. 'I've always been a conservative. But every day I find myself believing more and more in states' rights, individual rights -- let people alone, get the government out of everybody's lives, let everybody rule themselves.''

3) He's a Neo-Nazi Commie.

This picture says it all:

2) He told an atheist she didn't have to believe in God.

Condemned by his own words:

CALLER: I'm a moral person, but I do not believe in god. And it makes me cringe when you equate American patriotism with a belief in god.

CALLER: Okay, Glenn. Then does that mean that we all have to believe in God because they did?

GLENN: No, no, no.
....
GLENN: Adella, I'm fine. You don't have to believe in God.

1) He isn't good enough to write a Christmas book.

Todd Friel says so, so you know it is the Absolute Truth---here is the video:




Copyright 2009 Flarklechubbin' Online Discernment Ministries.

Martin Luther: Too Liberal To Be A True Christian

25 Reasons Why Luther Wasn't Reformed Enough To Be A True Christian:

By Dr. Pastor Rotgut Guzzleman, PHD in fundamentalist eisegesis, THD in being saved as I'm elect and you're not, BA in obscurantism, general degree in flarklechubbin', Head of the Hyper-Hyper Calvinist League, Doctorate of Bibliolatry from King James Bible College, holder of Absolute Truth, Pastor of the Only True Church of the Only Elect Souls, etc. In other words, I know my stuff and you don't.


1. He stated:

That Christ died for all men, and, as the Lamb of God, took away the sins of the whole world.

How dare he say Jesus died for all men. All is a liberal word and includes gays, pagans, communists/socialists, anti-capitalists, non-Republicans, anti-Americans and bible-rejecting theological liberals like PCUSA who aren't true Calvinists, etc. After all our final Prophet John Calvin teaches us the true meaning of the word all. The Bible also says:

By the decree of God, for the manifestation of His glory, some men and angels[6] are predestinated unto everlasting life; and others foreordained to everlasting death.[7]

which we know only refers to John MacArthur, Phil Johnson, Al Mohler, Charles Spurgeon, James White, Todd Friel, Will Kinney and 137,000 other Elected and Predestined Calvinist saints---the rest of humanity is going to hell because God chose to destroy them before even creating humanity.

2. Luther dared to revise the God-ordained AV1611 King James Bible and was too soft on homosexuality by revising the AV1611 King James Bible in I CORINTHIANS 6:9 and I TIMOTHY 1:10. This means as such Luther is part of the Scholarship Only cult and is an Alexandrian heretic apostate supporter of Westcott and Hort.

3. Luther didn't use the King James Bible AV1611 which God gave to humanity as the King James Bible is Jesus. Here is a reproduction of Jesus (AV1611 KJB) descending from heaven by God's command:

Heavenly KJB AV1611:


Descending to earth:

4. Luther was a closet Arminian---see # 1 for proof. Also Luther denied Eternal Security OSAS Doctrine. This tells you that not only was Luther a closet Arminian but a closet Romanist/Papist, Pelagian/Semi-Pelagian heretic on the road back to Rome--instead of following Saint Augustine who was not a Papal ring kissing Roman Catholic but a true Calvinist:

"The old truth that Calvin preached, that Augustine preached, that Paul preached, is the truth that I must preach to-day, or else be false to my conscience and my God. I cannot shape the truth; I know of no such thing as paring off the rough edges of a doctrine. John Knox's gospel is my gospel. That which thundered through Scotland must thunder through England again."—C. H. Spurgeon

5. Luther had an unbiblical marriage and did not practice the Biblical Doctrine of Separatism in his marriage, because he married a Catholic nun. The Bible warns against this:

2 Corinthians 6:14 (King James Version)

14Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

6. Luther denied the Orthodox Doctrine of Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture.

7. Luther rebelled against the government---the Pope---though the Pope was corrupt---Christians are to obey their government without question as our patron Saint John MacArthur kindly corrects Luther on this:

If our government changes its form, as governments often do, we are still called to submit and be model citizens. We are called not only to obey, but to obey with a spirit of obedience. We are to give honor to those who are in authority over us so that evil might not be spoken about the name of Christ. If there are critics who are looking for ways to condemn Christians, please let them condemn us for our faith and not our political viewpoints.

Romans 13 makes this clear.

8. Luther was not a true Biblical inerrantist as he practiced biblical criticism and criticized the God-ordained Protestant canon.

9. Luther included the non-Christian books of the Apocrypha in his revision of the KJB AV1611 instead of leaving them out like God's Bible---the AV1611 did.

10. Luther drank alcohol and drinking is a sin. Smoking is also a sin, but Charles Spurgeon is exempt as he is truly one of the elect and thereby could do as he pleased.

Luther's alcohol for those who love their sin:


Spurgeon endorsed tobacco good only for God's elect:


11. Luther was against the Gospel being preached as he wrote against Calvinism and as we know because Saint Charles Spurgeon told us so:

I have my own private opinion that there is no such thing as preaching Christ and Him crucified, unless we preach what nowadays is called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it Calvinism; Calvinism is the gospel, and nothing else.

Yeah that's right no other philosophy in Christianity is the Gospel nor is Jesus the Gospel: only Calvinism is the Gospel.

12. Luther was part of the liberal animal-rights activist agenda as Luther was anti-hunting.

Luther on why we shouldn't eat animals:

"It follows not, that because God created all things, we must eat of all things. Fruits were created chiefly as food for people and for beasts; the latter were created to the end we should laud and praise God." (Table Talk of Martin Luther, CXXXI)

Therefore we can conclude Luther was against gun rights as well.

13. Luther was not a card-carrying member of the American Republican Party therefore he was anti-American.

14. Martin Luther was a socialist---in his own words:

In his treatise The Freedom of a Christian, Martin Luther observes thatthe Christian should “be guided in all his works by this thoughtand contemplate this one thing alone, that he may serve andbenefit others in all that he does, considering nothing except theneed and the advantage of his neighbor.”13 The spiritual freedomto do so arises out of justification by grace through faith. Luthernotes that in Ephesians 4:28, the Apostle Paul “commands us towork with our hands so that we may give to the needy.”14 Lutherelaborates on this text from Ephesians as follows:This is what makes caring for the body a Christian work, thatthrough its health and comfort we may be able to work, to
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9acquire, and lay by funds with which to aid those who are inneed, that in this way the strong member may serve the weaker,and we may be sons of God, each caring for and working for theother, bearing one another’s burdens and so fulfilling the law ofChrist [Galatians 6:2]. This is a truly Christian life. Here faith istruly active through love.15Luther reiterates this link between faith and works of love in hiscommentary of the book of Galatians:Because thou hast laid hold upon Christ by faith, through whomthou art made righteous, begin now to work well. Love God andthy neighbour, call upon God, give thanks unto him, praise him,confess him. Do good to thy neighbour and serve him: fulfilthine office. These are good works indeed, which flow out of thisfaith and this cheerfulness conceived in the heart, for that wehave remission of sins freely by Christ.16

This is nothing but that old line of liberalism as Saint John MacArthur warns us about in this video: After-all, the only duty of the Christian is to preach Hyper-Hyper-Calvinism to the elect and the elect only so that they can rub their salvation in the non-elect's faces.

15. Martin Luther was a communist as he communed in monasteries.

16. Luther was a glutton---although Spurgeon was too, he is again exempt as he is truly one of God's elect.

Non-elect glutton:

Elect glutton:

17. Luther quoted from Papists which means he wasn't anti-Catholic enough.

18. Luther didn't use only the King James Bible and King James Only tracts like this: in his debates against the Romanist cult but again quoted from the Papists and used a false corrupt Alexandrian bible.

19. Luther was pro-adultery---in his own words:

One spouse may rob and withdraw himself or herself from the other and refuse to grant the conjugal due or to associate with the other. One may find a woman so stubborn and thick-headed that it means nothing to her though her husband fall into unchasteness ten times. Then it is time for the man to say: If you are not willing, another woman is; if the wife is not willing, bring on the maid. But this only after the husband has told his wife once or twice, warned her, and let it be known to other people that her stubborn refusal may be publicly known and rebuked before the congregation. If she still does not want to comply, then dismiss her; let an Esther be given you and allow Vashti to go, as did King Ahasuerus (Esther 2:17).

(Quoted from Ewald M. Plass, ed., What Luther Says: A Practical In-Home Anthology for Active Christians (St. Louis: Concordia, 1991), paragraph 2811)

20. Luther was anti-Zionist, so therefore he is pro-Palestinian and pro-terrorist by not supporting the God ordained Holy State of Israel.

21. Luther was sex obsessed and used coarse language.

22. Luther was a Mary worshipper and prayed the rosary. He said:

"Our prayer should include the Mother of God . . . What the Hail Mary says is that all glory should be given to God, using these words: "Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus Christ. Amen!" You see that these words are not concerned with prayer but purely with giving praise and honor . . . We can use the Hail Mary as a meditation in which we recite what grace God has given her. Second, we should add a wish that everyone may know and respect her " (Personal Prayer Book, 1522).

23. Martin Luther wrote about Christian Liberty which contains a satanic acrostic for Tiber---the anti-Christ code-speak for the Romanist New World Order, Ecumenism and the One World Religion/Government of papism. Also, liberty when ty is taken off alism can be added which spells Satan's philosophy, liberalism. Also, Christians aren't free but slaves who are called to absolute obeidience unto their God of wrath and hate.

24. Luther was Emerging/Emergent and Neo-Orthodox and said that God is love instead of a hateful God of divine wrath, war and venegence as the Bible plainly teaches.

25. Last and worst of all, Luther wasn't an Independent Fundamentalist King James Only Calvinistic Baptist so we know with Absolute Certainty that he and any of his followers are unregenerate, reprobated, non-elect unsaved hell-bound apostate heretics.