Top 10 Reasons Why Sharks Make Terrible Presbyterians

Here is a companion post to my previous post---TheoPoetic Musings: Top 10 Reasons Why Cats Make Terrible Baptists:

10. Will eat all the food before the rest of the congregation gets any.

9. Likely to switch presbyteries often just to go where the most food is.

8. Shark justice sometimes includes cannibalism instead of reconciliation.

7. Shark behavior is hard to predetermine even from the foundation of the world.

6. Likely to eat the altar and all the religious trappings in the church building.

5. Will regurgitate the elements of communion.

4. Won't sit still during church services.

3. Won't resolve conflicts easily so often resolve to eating the opposition instead of forming a new denomination.

2. Don't have much time for heavy-handed theology when survival is your top priority.

And # 1. Sharks are pelagic fish so you know they believe in Pelagianism instead of Calvinism.

Top 10 Reasons Why Cats Make Terrible Baptists

10. Too prissy to greet others before and after church.

9. Too promiscuous in their relationships.

8. Hang around the milk bar too much getting drunk on milk.

7. Female cats wouldn't get along too well in the SBC as they are unlikely to submit to male cats.

6. Can go awhile without a meal after everything.

5. Get bored often so unlikely to get through a church service.

4. Might bring an unwanted present down the aisle during the altar call.

3. Won't make good missionaries.

2. May leave hair-balls instead of a proper tithe.

And # 1. Cats hate water so how can they be baptized into membership of a local church.